


Ex Parte, Ex Solo

by Graendoll



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Lawyers, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Light Angst, Office Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2019-10-04
Packaged: 2020-10-10 22:53:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 20,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20535938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Graendoll/pseuds/Graendoll
Summary: ex par-te:lawwith respect to or in the interests of one side only or of an interested outside partyOr:Ben Solo didn't realize what he had until he lost it.





	1. Chapter One: Precedent

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first multi-chapter Reylo fic in a while and I'm super excited to be back in the reylo saddle! _yeeeee-haw!_
> 
> Thanks to [msdes](https://twitter.com/sofondabooks) for the prompt!
> 
> _Rey & Ben are work frenemies who are secretly fucking. They are content with their arrangement, until Poe Dameron joins their firm. Poe falls for Rey and starts so seriously woo her. Ben wonders why he's feeling to upset...after all, he ain't her boyfriend._

Ben hitched his pants up over his hips, buttoning the fly and putting his belt back together before running his hand through his hair and looking around the floor of the bedroom for his other shoe. Rey’s bedroom was cluttered with various mismatched pieces of furniture, picture frames and books arranged in a way that made his eye tick when compared to his own spartan living space. The woman in question was still in her bathroom, but he knew she’d be expecting him to be dressing if not completely gone by the time she got out.

When he’d rolled off her, sweaty and spent after fucking her into the mattress, he’d gone for his phone to check the notifications he’d missed and she’d swung her legs over the bed and walked immediately to the bathroom, shutting the door behind her and leaving him alone in his post-orgasm haze. After tugging off the condom and flinging it into the basket next to her bed, he’d stood, tapping a quick reply to one of the texts he’d received, and began the process of gathering his clothes, silently dressing while he listened to the water run as she showered off all traces of him.

They’d begun their odd fuck buddy relationship after she’d finished her stint as an intern and was hired on as a full-time member of his firm. Ben wouldn’t even classify it as friends with benefits, considering they weren’t really friends. He was pretty sure she hated him more than fifty percent of the time, and he found her naivete and insistence on the goodness of humanity cynically amusing on a good day and down-right infuriating on a bad. But their antagonism translated to something else entirely when they were both naked, as they discovered completely by chance one late night in the office when their argument over the firms’ pro-bono policy resulted in a screaming match leading the two of them to get right up in each other’s faces. Ben didn’t remember who moved first but they’d ended up in one of the most violently aggressive kisses of his life. They’d managed to make it to his Audi before actually fucking, arguing the whole time they rode the elevator to the parking garage. He took her from behind, a hand over her mouth so she’d  _ shut up _ , as they kneeled in the backseat of the sedan and ruined the leather, requiring him to fork out money for the detailing to clean up the mess they’d made.

When they’d finished, she’d pulled his hand off her mouth and told him she still thought he was a heartless dick. He’d called her a naïve fool and insisted the sex changed nothing. She’d made an unidentifiable noise before opening the car door and crawling out the other side while Ben tugged his suit pants up and sat up, trying desperately to smooth the wrinkles out of his clothes and push his hair out of his eyes. He watched her as she stood, pulling her skirt down, before she leaned over with a smile and said goodnight, slamming the door of the car with a solid thunk while he stared straight ahead and contemplated how many different ways he was completely fucked.

He was pulled from his thoughts when the bathroom door opened, his eyes tracking her half clothed form as she jumped on her bed, landing on her stomach before bending her legs at the knee and crossing her ankles, swinging them childishly as she watched him finish dressing. With a smirk at the conservative cotton panties with small rosettes on them, he sat on the bed next to her. The soft mattress dipped under his weight, throwing her off balance and making her roll towards him before he leaned over and slipped on one of his shoes. The fact that she didn’t let herself fall into his hip didn’t go unnoticed as he slid on his expensive leather oxfords and tugged on the laces until they were snug.

“What kind of person wears dress shoes with blue jeans, anyway?”

The lilt of her voice, London accent unsullied by her nearly decade of living in Manhattan, broke the post coital silence.

“You’re not actually giving me fashion advice right now, are you?”

She shrugged and rolled onto her back, away from him, to stare at the ceiling. “It makes you look like a complete wanker.”

“Fuck you, Niima.” There was no fire behind his words, and she snorted in amusement from behind his back.

“Been there, done that.”

Standing, Ben looked down at her, lying on her back with her legs bent, one hand draped over her abdomen while the other reached for her night stand, and for a brief moment he contemplated doing something other than walking out, but she was already on her phone, tapping away at the screen with a secret smile on her face. He wondered what she was doing, whether she was making plans or telling someone about the sex she’d just had. He bit his lip in indecision, the intensity of his curiosity surprising him, before he felt the tell-tale vibration of his own cell, effectively taking away any option to remain.

“I’ll see you Monday. Don’t forget to write up that deposition.”

She rolled her eyes and gave him a two fingered salute as he left, ignoring him as she returned to her phone, effectively dismissing him without so many words. He left her bedroom, sliding his thumb across his screen to answer the call from Hux before opening her apartment door and exiting into the hallway.

“What do you need at ten o’clock on a Saturday night, Hux?”

A disgusted sigh came through the phone as Ben walked out into the summer evening, unlocking his car with a click before sliding into the leather seat. His eyes flicked up to the window he knew was Rey’s before he could catch himself, and he growled under his breath in irritation, blaming his abrupt change in mood entirely on the red-haired menace on the other end of his phone.

“I realize, Ren, that you like to imagine you run the firm from your glass enclosure on the fourteenth floor, but you can’t just  _ hire _ people without informing the rest of the partners.”

Irritated by the use of his alias, Ben keyed the ignition, the Audi roaring to life with a strong purr.

“What the fuck are you talking about,  _ Armitage. _ ”

“This fucking email from HR. When did you decide to hire another family law attorney?”

Ben set his phone down as he pulled out onto the street, the Bluetooth kicking in, and frowned down at the phone. “I didn’t hire shit.”

“Well someone did. We’re supposed to welcome some prick named Dameron to the office on Monday. I don’t do donuts and socializing, Ren.”

Ben flipped off the car that cut him off and laid on the horn while he tried to process what Hux had just told him. White knuckling the steering wheel, he floored it, pulling past the driver he’d just made a rude gesture at and forcing the oncoming traffic to swerve out of the way as he passed the slower vehicle and made an abrupt decision to alter his destination. He’d been on his way home, but Hux’s revelation had thrown him for a loop, making him adjust his plans.

Still, though, he had to be sure.

“Did you say Dameron?”

Hux sighed into the phone again, the sound echoing around the interior of the car in a way that had Ben’s hair stand on end.

“Yes.  _ Poe _ Dameron.” The disgust in his voice was so palpable Ben could actually see Hux’s sneering face in his mind. “What kind of monsters name their child Poe?”

Slamming the base of his palm down on the leather wheel before pulling onto the freeway, he disconnected the call while furiously weaving in and out of traffic, the sleek black car handling his maneuvering with ease as he tried to process the miasma of emotions that were pulsing through him. There was only one way that Dameron would have been hired onto the firm without his knowledge, and that reason was named Leia Organa-Solo. He worked his mouth in an effort to keep himself from screaming in frustration as he debated whether or not it would be appropriate to show up on the doorstep of his childhood home at eleven in the evening to demand an explanation.

As he drove, the dark night surrounding him and the well insulated vehicle enveloping him silence even at ninety-three miles per hour, the rage humming in his veins subsided, and he found himself once again falling into the familiar armor built around himself as a youth when he  _ knew _ that his mother would be perpetually disappointed with him, would always be comparing him to the child of her favorite colleague, the  _ good _ son, the boy who did volunteer work and shared his wealth and catered to the Organa-Solo spirit of rebellion and idealism while Ben watched in disgust, his heart breaking, as his mother laughed and mentored and supported the shithead. He recalled letters of recommendation that came from her for her protege, lengthy explanations over the dinner table that she couldn’t write one for  _ him _ because he was her son, pride keeping him from begging her to ask her colleagues and friends, and the understated maternal disappointment that hung over him like a  _ fucking cloud _ as he rebelled in the face of her disinterest, electing to pursue a career that worked in opposition to her ideals.

With another sudden change of heart, Ben glanced in his rearview mirror before crossing three lanes of traffic, pumping the breaks and taking the exit ramp at a near suicidal velocity. His cynicism had re-established itself, overtaking the lingering feelings of abandonment, and reinforcing what he fundamentally knew; that there was no way in hell him showing up at her doorstep upset would make her change her mind.

It never had before.

Focusing on the soothing rumble of the engine as he downshifted, Ben navigated his way back over the surface streets until he made it to his condo, pulling into the secured parking garage and backing into his spot before cutting off the ignition and working the tension from his neck with a roll of his head, the resounding crack of release the only noise to be heard. He picked up his cell, ignoring the missed notification that was probably Hux sending him a complaint about how he’d been hung up on, before grabbing his keys and exiting the car. With a chime, the alarm set, and Ben made his way up to his floor, preparing himself mentally for Monday morning.

* * *

Monday morning arrived much too quickly for his taste, the elevator ride up to the fourteenth floor tense as the other passengers picked up his agitation. As a senior partner most people in the firm were familiar with his moods, and the harsh expression he was carrying this morning had the staff on high alert. When the elevator arrived at his floor, he exited much like a bull in a rodeo; full of nervous energy and prepared for a fight.

It was still early, barely half past seven, so the office was still relatively quiet. The receptionist hadn’t arrived yet and Ben made his way past the cubicle farm where the interns and the first-year staff attorneys were housed before making his way past the lounge and into the executive offices. His space was located furthest back in the corner. As one of three senior partners at the firm, he had his pick of the spaces as the other two partners were no longer practicing regularly, leaving him ostensibly at the helm. Hux was one of several junior partners and since he also practiced contract law, Ben worked with him closely on some of the larger accounts. More than one corporation had the firm on retainer.

As he sat down at his desk, flinging his leather satchel down with more force than was necessary, Ben fisted his hands at his hips, cracking a few knuckles, before booting up his computer and logging into his email.

He scrolled through the variety of things that had come in over the weekend until he found what he was looking for. There it was, directly from the hiring supervisor; a notification that a new staff attorney would be starting today. The email went on to list all of Dameron's accomplishments, his education, previous employers, and specialty, before concluding with a photo. Ben stared at the smarmy expression on the man’s face before forcefully hitting the delete button, relegating the announcement to the trashcan of his inbox.

Feeling a juvenile sense of satisfaction at having thrown out Dameron’s face, Ben continued to work through his inbox, flagging items that would require follow up and drafting terse responses to those inquiries that could be addressed quickly and easily. He was mid rant in a response to one of the junior partners who had missed a deadline for one of their smaller corporate accounts when he was interrupted by a knocking sound. Lifting his head, he stiffened as he recognized the man in his doorway. Ben watched, eyes narrowed, as Dameron sauntered into his office, looking around with a smiling expression, hands in the pockets of his cheap suit.

“Wow, Solo, this is a really great office. Way better than the cubicle I got set up with.” Poe paused in front of Ben’s desk, smile unwavering. “It’s good to see you, man.”

“Is it?”

Dameron shrugged before pulling his hands out of his pockets and taking a seat in one of the leather armchairs that face Ben’s desk.

“Sure. I mean, it’s been what? Ten years? I don’t think I’ve seen you since undergrad.”

Ben’s eye twitched and he made a conscious effort to extend his fingers over the keyboard of his laptop, the urge to clench his hands into fists overwhelming in its intensity.

“Did my mother hire you?”

Poe’s expression changed, his smile slipping.

“You know she did.”

Ben returned his gaze to the screen of his laptop as he watched the cursor blink, dismissing Dameron from his mind as he reviewed the content of his email. Clenching his jaw, he continued typing out the scathing reply. He saw Dameron stand up in his peripheral vision and pause, obviously waiting for some acknowledgement but Ben maintained his disinterest until Poe finally left his office, whistling obnoxiously as he did so. Seething with annoyance, Ben abruptly rose from his chair and strode quickly across the room, slamming the door behind the unwelcome intruder and taking an obscene amount of satisfaction in how the sound echoed through his office.

The rest of the morning was spent cloistered in his space, catching up on his correspondence and preparing several client contracts for submission to the courts. By one, he was sufficiently recovered from his initial meeting with Dameron to open the door to his office and venture out into the hallway. There was a small sandwich shop down the street that he frequented, and with a brief stop by the admin who managed the executives informing her that he was going out, he was on his way.

Only he wasn’t.

Flabbergasted, he found himself stopping in his tracks when he saw what was happening in the cubicles before him. Dameron was holding court, surrounded by a half dozen staff attorneys, all of whom were hanging on his every word. Shaking himself from his stupor, Ben approached slowly, feigning disinterest as he tried to hear what the other man was saying.

“It was incredible, really. I mean, the  _ whole _ room just stood and began a slow clap.” An audible gasp from one of the rapt audience members had Ben nearly gagging, but he slowed his pace and pulled out his phone, pretending to swipe through his email in order to hear more of what Poe was going on about. “She was really magnificent, and I was just so humbled by her inclusion of me in the entire thing, I couldn’t believe it.”

Ben’s grip on his phone was so tight his knuckles whitened, the pressure on both sides snapping three screenshots in rapid succession before he relaxed his grip. Dameron was telling a story about  _ his fucking mother _ . And the worst was that he knew exactly the event being described. It was an annual ceremony for recognizing excellence, a place where upcoming legal eagles were awarded for outstanding efforts. The entire thing had a decidedly leftish bent, focusing on environmental law, civil rights suits, and similar specialties. His mother had been recognized for a lifetime achievement award at last year’s ceremony and had mentioned Dameron in her speech, telling a room full of the cities best legal minds how she’d never had been able to do it without his support, his reckless devotion to the cause, his willingness to stand up to her when he thought she was wrong. She had offered to fucking  _ share the award _ with him. All while Ben had sat stiffly at her table, having been coerced into attending an event where the majority of the attendees viewed his type as only just preferable to a flesh-eating virus, watching her once again praise the good son.

He’d left before her speech was over and hadn’t taken any of her calls for nearly two months.

With a low growl he sped up his pace, walking briskly past the annoying display to the elevators where he aggressively thumbed the down button, impatient to get out of the building.

“Did the elevator hurt your feelings, Solo?”

The accented whisper snuck over his skin, raising the hairs on the back of his neck. The air was suddenly infused with the subtle smell of  _ Rey _ and he inhaled deeply, nostrils flaring with the scent of her. When the elevator doors slid open with a ping, he grabbed her wrist and dragged her into the enclosed space. Her lack of protest was registered and cataloged in the part of his head labelled with her name, a dark cavernous space that he refused to shine any light on, and as soon as the doors closed, he pushed her against the wall.

“Ben – “

He cut her off with a kiss, his hands on her face, palms encompassing almost her entire jaw as he pressed his hips to hers, pinning her against the mirrored interior of the elevator. She squeaked in surprise, but opened for him nonetheless, her hot breath hitting his cheek as he devoured her, pouring all of his irritation and frustration into the kiss. Her hands raised to his hair, but right as he was about to pull her leg up and around his waist, the elevator stopped at the first floor and he quickly sprung away from her. A hurried glance down showed her blouse slightly wrinkled from the contact, her lips reddened and bitten looking. Ben turned away, running his hand through his hair with a shaky breath unsure what to say. She remained silent as he tried to gain control of his breathing, and when the doors fully opened, he exited without looking back.


	2. Chapter 2: Intent to Possess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You guys are so awesome giving me so much love <3
> 
> I hope you enjoy the next installment!

By Thursday, Ben was losing his mind. Dameron was fucking everywhere. In the break room, chatting up the receptionist, working in the fucking law library – there was no escaping his cheerful, stupid, whistling face. The morning staff meeting was typically incapable of holding Ben’s interest long, his position keeping him from actively having to engage during the three hour chunk of time where each branch of the firm reviewed active cases and decided on whether to take on new clients, but he was determined to attend and pay attention this week. With that in mind, he arrived a few minutes early, taking his place at the head of the large triangular conference table. His bulky frame dwarfed the chair, and he crossed his ankle over his opposite knee, leaning back and focusing on his phone, shooting off email and generally trying to look busy.

He smelled her before he saw her, the faint rustling scent of her overwhelming the oxygen around him so thoroughly his breath hitched. Looking up under his lashes, he watched her approach her preferred seat and settle in. It didn’t escape his notice that her preferred seat was nearly as far from his as she could be without actually being in a different room. She ignored him, as she had for the four days solid since he’d basically attacked her in the elevator. They rarely worked together on cases and there was no reason for them to do so given their wildly divergent specialties, but that hadn’t kept him from debating manufacturing a reason to call her into his office. He was leaning forward, prepared to greet her and demand she actually  _ look up _ and acknowledge him when Dameron entered the room causing Ben’s eyes to narrow in a glare and his posture to stiffen.

He watched as the man confidently walked up and sat directly to Rey’s right.

“Good morning.”

Ben watched, something catching in his throat as Rey turned to the man, a too large smile on her face.

“Good morning. I’m Rey.”

“I know.” Ben’s jaw ticked as she blushed, and he was suddenly overwhelmed by the desire to forcefully separate the two. “Family law, right?”

Eye twitching, Ben attempted to drown out the conversation between the two and returned his focus to his phone. He read and re-read the same email four times before he realized the futility of pretending disinterest, but by then more people had trickled in, including Hux, and he was no longer able to eavesdrop on Rey’s conversation with Poe.

“Are you actually planning to pay attention today, Ren?”

Ben glared at Hux before standing.

“Alright, quiet down.” A few heads glanced his way and he grew uncomfortable under the weight of their stares, electing to sit again as the side conversations quieted. “Hux, start us off.”

They went through each section of the firm, reviewing the open cases, their status, and the general sense of whether or not the cases were going well. Some were in active negotiations, some scheduled for court dates, but for the most part each division was able to count more potential successes than not. If the staff thought it was odd that he was leading the meeting instead of Hux, no one mentioned it. When they got to the family law division, Ben barked out his demand for an update in a harsh tone, causing Rey’s wide mouth to turn down in a small frown. As the senior staff attorney, she provided him a summation of what she and her two cohorts were working on. Just as he was about to thank her and move on, Dameron opened his mouth.

“I have a pro-bono case I’d like to take on. It was –“

“No.” Ben straightened his jacket and adjusted his posture, flicking his gaze away and around the room, preparing to dismiss the staff. Their pro-bono caseload was incredibly limited, by design, and family law already had one that he’d allowed Rey to take on three months ago.

“You didn’t let me finish.”

A hush fell over the meeting and Ben swung his head back to meet Poe’s eyes, the arrogant posture of the other man immediately setting him off.

“I beg your pardon?”

“The case is a good one. It’s a custody – “

“I already fucking said no.” Ben snapped before standing. “Familiarize yourself with the firm’s pro-bono policies before opening your mouth in a meeting again.” Ignoring the murmurs his statement caused, Ben pushed past a smirking Hux and stormed out of the conference room. He returned to his office, slamming the door behind him before picking up a random binder from a stack and throwing it across his office, paper floating down messily as he paced in front of his desk.

He’d been doing  _ so well _ , and in less than a week Dameron’s presence had him reverting back to the volatile behavior that had nearly gotten him disbarred. He needed to get a grip before he found himself beating his subordinate to a bloody pulp in the middle of the afternoon. The fucking  _ nerve _ of the man. Hands on his hips, breath coming in tight bursts, Ben closed his eyes and tried to calm himself down. The knock on his door startled him and he whipped around in time to see Rey slip into his office before she closed the door behind her and leaned up against it, her hand still on the knob.

“What the hell is going on with you?”

Ben’s anger and frustration morphed into something else entirely as he slowly approached her. He felt like an animal in a cage, like a dog that had been mistreated and now didn’t know whether to bite the hand that fed it or expose it’s belly to a potential tormentor. Her presence wasn’t making the decision any easier.

“Worried about me, Niima?”

She shrugged, not breaking eye contact, and he found himself completely focused on the rise and fall of her chest. With the exception of the harsh kiss they’d shared in the elevator, they had always kept their work relationship completely professional; no copy room shenanigans or dirty emails. Ben knew that was about to change. She’d entered his lair, wondering about his mood almost like they were in a  _ relationship.  _ When he finally reached her, his six-foot-four frame dwarfing her smaller one, he placed his hands on the door near her head, trapping her.

“Turn around.”

Rey took a second, her eyes searching his for something, before, to his shock, she acquiesced to his demand. He reached for her hands and brought them up to the door, covering them entirely with his own before lacing his fingers through hers and lowering his face to her neck. Inhaling deeply, he let the smell of her flesh move through him, calming him while also making him desperate to taste her. Not wanting to go too quickly, he nudged her neck with his nose, prompting her to lean her head to the side and give him better access, before he placed his lips on the corner of her jaw, sliding up her throat to her ear while pressing her front to the door with his body weight, pinning her between him and the lacquered wood.

“God you smell fucking delicious.”

Rey shivered as he nipped at the soft flesh of neck.

“Why do you hate Poe?”

“Shut up.” He growled in her ear and used his teeth on a particularly sensitive part of her shoulder, causing her to squirm. Her ass brushed up against the front of his trousers and he pressed further into her, trying to intimidate her into silence.

“No. You were an ass.”

Ben growled and placed a hand over her mouth, gently as he didn’t want to hurt her, before he pressed into her again and bit down on her earlobe. She squeezed the fingers of his other hand, but he couldn’t interpret whether or not that meant she was in distress or if she was trying to sooth him. He decided to find out.

“Shut  _ up _ and pull up your skirt.”

Her breath came out of her nose with a huff, but she took her free hand and reached down, lifting the pencil skirt up over her hips as best she could in the small space between their bodies. Ben pulled back a bit, looking down while pressing the crown of his head into the back of her neck. Her grey skirt was lifted at an angle, exposing almost the entirety of the right side of her glorious ass, the fabric still draped snugly over the left. Her lacy panties were a pale green and it made the freckles on her thighs stand out. He slid his hand off her mouth moved it down her side, the grip on her other hand fluctuating as he tightened and released, anticipating feeling her flesh under his.

Was she as desperate for this as he was? He slid a single finger over the roundness of her hips and his eye twitched as he watched goose bumps pebble her unmarred skin. Overwhelmed by the need to be inside her, he moved his hand to the belt holding up his suit pants, undoing the buckle and lowering the zip, before pulling himself out and palming his cock. Rey’s fingers squeezed his again and she hitched up her skirt to give him a better view of her ass.

Ben pushed the lacy underthings aside and ran his fingers over the lips of her cunt, moaning as he felt how slippery her heat was.

“God, Rey.”

“Hurry up, Solo, or I’ll mention the pro-bono case again.”

He growled and yanked her underwear aside, using his grip on the fabric to tug her back and force her to arch her spine.

“The  _ fuck _ you will.” Releasing her other hand, he lined himself up and pressed into her. She moaned and he watched as she placed her palm on her cheek, pulling at it obscenely to allow his girth to slide into her. When he was seated to the hilt she relaxed her grip, placing her hand back on the door. He tugged on her panties again, reveling in the little noise she made as the fabric rubbed against her clit. Keeping his thumb hooked in the lace, he gripped her hips and pulled her against him, enjoying hearing her squeak as he went even deeper.

Lifting his head, he shook the hair out of his eyes and began to thrust into her, taking in the way her fingers curled against the unyielding wood of the door. The knowledge that she was letting him pound away at her while nothing but a thin wall separated them from the rest of the firm appealed to his possessive nature and he lowered his cheek to hers, letting his eyes close as he slid in and out of her tight flesh. She was arching her spine to meet his hips and pressing her cheek to his. As his pace increased, she reached behind her to grab his hair, pulling his head down to her as they fucked.

His fingers pressed into her hips as he slid his lips over her jaw, using his upper body strength to pull her onto him as he thrust. Her grip on his hair tightened as he changed angles, and he felt her walls start to flutter around his cock, indicating she was close. He’d learned she was almost completely silent during sex, having to read her body language to make her come, watching her writhe silently underneath him more than once. But this, the way she was panting against the door, gripping his hair by its roots as he buried himself in her over and over, her feet adjusting with each thrust to keep her balance in the conservative heels she always wore, had him so desperate he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to hold out until she hit her peak.

“Fuck, Rey, I want to come inside you.” His anger over Poe’s presumption had him remembering how she’d smiled at him and reminded him they worked together much more closely than she and Ben did. His possessive streak roared to life again and the idea of filling her up at work, making a mess of her before sending her back out to deal with the dickhead had his arousal spike and he almost went over the edge right then. Slowing his thrusts to avoid ending it too soon, he reached around to her clit and thumbed it, making her buck. “Rey?”

“God, Solo, shut up.” She pressed back into him and his eyes rolled back into his head and she fucked herself on his cock, the slow drag of her flesh over his as she angled herself over him again and again had him squeezing her hips so hard he knew she would bruise, unable to decide whether he wanted to stop her or force her to pick up her pace.

“Rey – “ his voice cracked as she pressed back onto him.

“Do it.” She hissed her consent and he immediately began thrusting hard, taking just a handful of times to sink into her fully before he growled into her ear, twitching and pinning her hard between him and the door while he spent himself. Her whimper had him lowering his hand to her clit again, working her until she also came, the fluttering walls of her cunt squeezing another shudder from him as she milked his cock and arched her back into him, resting her head on his shoulder as her eyes fluttered shut. He took the opportunity to kiss her, dragging his tongue across her lips, tasting the salt of her sweat and groaning when she opened for him.

She recovered before he did, lifting her head and wriggling out of his grip before they disconnected, a small sound of disappointment or possibly distress coming from her. He watched, sated enough to be partially amused, as she waddled across his office to the box of tissues on his desk, where she cleaned herself up before pulling her skirt down over her hips. Ben ran his fingers through his hair, the absence of her warm body bringing with it a realization of what had just happened. He tucked himself back inside his pants, suddenly unsure as to how to proceed.

Rey, on the other hand, seemed completely at ease. He watched as she crossed her arms over her chest and settled a hip against his desk. She looked freshly fucked and all he could think about was how he wanted to bend her over and do it all again.

“Spill it, Solo. Why don’t you like Poe?”

The question was like a bucket of ice water being poured over his head and he stiffened.

He adjusted his tie, working his mouth as he debated how to respond. A part of him desperately wanted to spill all; tell her about his jealousy and how he’d felt like he could never compete with the other man, how his parents, especially his mother, had always seemed to compare him to Dameron and find him lacking. How he’d felt a possessive level of rage seeing her speaking to him at the meeting.

But he didn’t.

“It’s personal.”

If he hadn’t been looking, he would have missed the slight flinch on her face.

“Fine. You’re being petty and ridiculous, and everyone knows it.” She unfolded from her relaxed position against his desk and strode across the room, stopping in front of him. “He’s nice.”

Ben wasn’t sure what it was that prompted him to reach out, but he did, grabbing her upper arm and keeping her from leaving. It was panic, most likely, coupled with the fact that he never could seem to figure out where they stood. That even though he’d just fucked her up against the door to his office, even though the evidence of their coupling was probably still leaking into those sexy lace panties of hers, that he had no power over her, no way to keep her or hold her. The smile on her face when Dameron said ‘I know’ would haunt his fucking nightmares.

“Stay away from him.”

It was the wrong thing to say, he knew it the minute the words left his mouth. His error was only reconfirmed when her eyes widened, and she jerked her arm out of his grip.

“I work with him.”

“You know what I mean.”

Her breath hitched and she swallowed before shaking her head at him, an unreadable expression on her face.

“You’re not my bloody _ keeper _ , Solo. You’re not even really my boyfriend. Don’t dictate to me who I can and cannot befriend!”

Ben opened his mouth to retort but was saved from having to figure out what he’d been going to say by Rey yanking the door open and storming out of his office. The acid of his stomach churning as he watched her walk quickly back to her side of the office.

“Fuck.”


	3. Chapter 3: Damages

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I mean, basically they're idiots.

Over the course of the next week, Ben watched with increasing irritation as Dameron befriended Rey. He wasn’t sure if she was going out of her way to be friendly because she knew it would annoy him or if she genuinely liked the man, but Dameron’s intentions were decidedly less unclear. Ben had known him well enough in his youth to know his tells, and by the following Wednesday he was convinced that Poe had a  _ thing _ for Rey. He winked, called her doll, complimented her intellect and experience, and waxed rhapsodically about all the families they could help if only  _ the partners _ would relax the pro-bono regulations.

Ben was tempted to publish each staff attorney’s billable hours in order to prove his point, but managed to restrain himself. The pro-bono policy was designed to minimize financial impact to the firm while still allowing staff to work on cases that appealed to them; whether because of a tendency towards bleeding heart liberalism or not was of no consequence to Ben. Dameron hadn’t met the minimum requirements for pro-bono work and wouldn’t until he’d been at the firm for six months. The fact that he’d expected to be able to take on a pro-bono case so early simply reinforced Ben’s assumption that Poe had entered into this job with the impression he’d been given a free ride by his biggest supporter and therefore the rules didn't apply to him.

The urge to call his mother and have her reign Poe in warred with the knowledge that a thirty-five-year-old man calling his mother to fix a personnel problem made him look pretty pathetic. But he needed to take the prick down a notch  _ somehow _ and he wasn’t entirely sure how to go about it at this point. Especially given that Dameron was constantly with Rey and after their argument he’d been loathe to approach her.

He didn’t want her to know how much it had hurt to have her throw their lack of definition back in his face.

Which was ironic considering the fact that he’d made a point of telling her the sex didn’t change anything at the beginning of all this. She was his subordinate at work and to be honest, he didn’t want her getting any ideas about favoritism. Frankly, the fact that they were fucking was probably in violation of at least three of the HR policies in place, and really the only reason why he could rationalize it at all was because  _ technically _ they were in different departments. His mother was the partner responsible for the family law division.

At the thought of his mother, Ben clenched his jaw and threw his pen down onto the legal pad he’d been using in his attempt to make notes. Standing abruptly, he paced for a moment, the confines of his office feeling oddly claustrophobic. On a whim, he decided perhaps he’d get more done in the firm’s legal library. Grabbing the previously discarded pen and the accompanying legal pad, Ben strode down the hall to the conference room that he’d had converted to a reference library and opened the door, only to abruptly freeze in place, half in the room, half out.

Rey was sitting at one of the tables and Poe was standing over her, an arm on her chair, leaning into her shoulder as he said something in a voice too quiet for Ben to hear. He glanced up briefly and winked at Ben before lowering his head again, stepping closer to Rey. He whispered something else and Rey lifted her head to look in Ben’s direction. The expression on her face was closed, almost stern, as though she were looking at something or  _ someone  _ that had disappointed her beyond repair. She held his gaze for a moment longer before dismissing him, turning back to Poe and resuming their conversation.

Undone, Ben awkwardly backed away and closed the door, alone in the hallway and wondering why he suddenly felt like his world was ending.

* * *

He didn’t see her again until Friday. In fact, he was shocked he saw her even then considering the fact that he’d taken the rest of the week off after running into her and Dameron in the law library. He'd told himself the time off was to control his anger so he didn't beat Poe to a bloody pulp in a staff meeting, but that didn't explained the twisting pain in his chest every time he'd remembered the look on Rey's face.

It was nearly nine thirty in the evening, and Ben was working the heavy bag in his home gym, pretending the canvas monstrosity was actually Dameron’s face. The loud knocking broke through the sounds of his grunts and the soft hammering of his fists on the bag, the rapid pounding giving him the impression that whoever was at his door was in dire need of his attention. Shaking his hair out of his face and shrugging into the previously discarded t-shirt, he walked into his living room just as another rapid series of knocks sounded.

“Coming, Christ.”

After disengaging the deadbolt and security lock he yanked the door open, only to step back in surprise with what greeted him.

It was Rey.

Crying.

“Ben.” She searched his eyes for a minute. “Can I come in?”

“Yeah,” he gestured her inside, stepping out of her way and shutting the door quietly behind her while he tried to keep himself in check. He was dying of curiosity, desperate to know what had caused her to come to him, in tears, while also feeling a sharp spike of  _ something _ unfurl in his chest knowing she'd come to  _ him _ . But before he could ask what was wrong or comfort her in any way, she started talking.

“It’s a bloody nightmare. Everything was going so well and now we might lose the case, and I just – “

Ben cut her off, irritated by the sting of disappointment that settled over him like a shroud. “This is about work?”

She paused in her movements at his dining room table, purse half off her shoulder, its colorful fabric looking oddly out of place in the industrial minimalism of his home. Compared to the cold expression she’d given him earlier in the week, her open, tear streaked face made her appear incredibly vulnerable and he felt something churn in his abdomen as they locked eyes. He was suddenly hit with a premonition that this wasn’t going to go well.

“It’s about the pro-bono case.”

“Dameron’s?” He was incredulous. Had she come here to lobby on behalf of that asshole?

“ _ No _ ! Mine.” She started crying again and Ben hesitated only a moment before approaching her. When he was within arm’s length, he reached a hand out towards her, running the backs of his knuckles over her shoulder. If she was surprised by the touch, or by the thick, coarse tape wrapped around his wrists and fingers from his bout with the heavy bag, she didn’t say anything. In fact, before he knew what was happening, she turned towards him, arching up and pressing her lips to his. Her hands, cold from the mild summer night, pressed into his cheeks and he kissed her back, all the while wondering why she was there and what, exactly, she wanted from him.

“Can we have sex?” She muttered against his lips as she ran her hands through the damp tendrils of hair at his neck. “I know you’re all sweaty, but I just…really want to have sex with you.”

“Okay.” He tried not to question her motives further, instead pressing his lips to hers and picking her up by the waist, forcing a small gasp out of her, before walking the two steps necessary to set her down on the table next to her purse. The wraps on his hand made him less dexterous than usual, but he still managed to push her knees apart and step between her legs while pulling the jacket from her shoulder without breaking the kiss. When she shrugged out of her coat and tossed it away, it got tangled up in her purse, causing a cacophony of noise as her cell phone, and a random assortment of other ridiculous odds and ends spilled out of her hobo bag onto the floor.

“Shit, sorry.” She leaned towards the mess as if to clean up, but he kept her from going far, fisting the front of her shirt and pulling her in for another kiss before yanking the blue cotton tee off and tossing it on top of her jacket.

“Ignore it.” He captured her lips again before pressing on her now bare shoulders, forcing her to lie back across the dark wood. Grabbing her thighs, he hitched her up and tugged her towards the edge of the table until her ass nearly hung off it, then stepped back and made quick work of her pants, yanking them down her legs with her panties while she squirmed underneath him. Without giving her time to think he pressed back into her, cupping her exposed center with a hand before pressing his lips to hers again. She wrapped her arms around his shoulder, fingers digging into the fabric as she pulled it up his back, the sweat from his workout making the thin cotton stick, prolonging the process and allowing him ample time to toy with her.

As she worked to strip him, an occasional gasp escaped her while he slid his fingers over her slit, toying with her clit and occasionally dipping into her heat, penetrating her just enough to get her to squirm. She finally got the t-shirt to his shoulders and he gave up the treasure of her cunt to lift his arms allowing her to remove it completely. Ben continued to devour her mouth, slanting his head across hers as their tongues tangled, while he tugged his sweats down and pulled his now rock-hard cock out of his pants. He wrapped one hand around her thigh, pushing her leg back towards her chest before using the other to line up at her entrance. As he pressed into her, she groaned into his mouth and raised her other leg, wrapping it around his hips and pulling him into her. When he sank into her fully, he broke their kiss and pressed his face into her neck, breathing in her scent as he enjoyed just being inside her heat.

“Move, Solo.” She shifted and he pressed his hands into her hips, holding her pelvis still.

“Wait.”

Rey arched her spine under him and he pressed his weight into her, pinning her to the table while he tried to figure out why he felt on edge, even as he was balls deep in the woman who took up too much of his thoughts for his comfort.

“Ben – “

“Hush.” He wanted to savor the moment, but her impatience started to bleed over to him and he slowly began to thrust, releasing the pressure on his grip, allowing her hips to meet his as they increased the pace of their fucking. Her tongue made soft licks across his neck and shoulder as he continued to breathe in the scent of her neck and hair. When she suckled on a particularly sensitive spot he groaned into her ear and began to slam into her as the tension in his spine started to spiral. Cognizant of his imminent release, he captured her lips again and slipped a hand between them, finding her nub and pressing into it, causing her to arch her chest into his and gasp into his mouth, little, sweet, high pitched whimpers escaping when he thrust at a particular angle.

Desperate for her to come with him, he lifted her hips and pounded into her until she was crying out with each thrust, their kiss growing increasingly sloppy until it was just lips touching and breath mingling while she grunted in time with his hips. He felt her walls twitch and she came with a keening cry, the tightening of her heat pushing him over the edge, his orgasm exploding through him as he came with a growl, his hands clenching around her hips, fingers digging into the flesh of her ass. Collapsing on top of her, he shuddered as she hugged him tight, their heavy breathing syncing as they both recovered from the exertion.

“Thanks.”

Ben stiffened, raising his head to look down at her. She wouldn’t meet his eyes, her gaze dancing all over the place as he watched her. Whatever intimacy was gained by naked skin and orgasms was rapidly disappearing with her refusal to look at him. He huffed out a breath and pushed himself upright, stepping back and pulling out of her as she closed her legs and sat up.

“You’re welcome, I guess.”

She still wouldn’t look at him as she wriggled off the table, and he saw her wince as she knelt down, still mostly naked, and began to pick up the items that had fallen out of her purse earlier. Unsure what to do, Ben adjusted his sweats, covering himself, and ran a finger through his hair while he watched her.

“Rey –“

“Let me just pick this stuff up and I’ll be out of your hair, right?”

He grabbed her arm and pulled her up, causing half the items to spill back out of her purse for the second time.

“What the fuck, Solo?”

He glared down at her as she yanked herself from his hold.

“ _ Thank you? _ ” She was refusing to make eye contact again and he snapped. “God-damnit Rey, will you fucking look at me?”

Her eyes slowed their spastic movement around his living room and finally met his, the depth of emotion in them making his throat seize before her gaze shuttered, like she flipped a switch.

“I need my pants.”

Ben wiped his hand over his face, his frustration at its peak. He'd never felt so used in his life. At no other time during the course of their casual sex relationship had Ben felt more like a sex toy she was using to get off than in this moment. Her inability to look at him made him wonder if she was hoping to see someone else's face staring back at her and he felt something in his chest crack. Dropping his eyes, he stepped around her to where he’d flung her jeans and picked them up, crumbling them into a ball before walking back to her and shoving them into her chest.

“Here. Pants. You can see yourself out.” He turned away from her abruptly, overwhelmed by the feeling of needing to escape, leaving her alone and heading down the hall to his bedroom.

“Fuck you, Solo!” Her yell was followed quickly after by the slamming of his front door.

“Been there, done that.” He muttered under his breath.

* * *

The following week at work was like his own personal version of hell.

Hux was up his ass about some new corporate account that he wanted to schedule a meeting for in order to go over the retainer and the contracts they were asking the firm to assist with, his mother was calling him  _ at the office _ which meant either he’d done something actionable (and he’d briefly wondered if she’d used her near magical powers of intuition to pick up on the vibe between him and Rey) or that there was an event coming up for her campaign that required his presence so she could play the good mother, and on top of that, Dameron was  _ glowing. _

The reason for the other man’s obscene smile was no real secret. Ben had been watching him pursue Rey for the whole week before he was presented with the chummy scene the two painted at the staff meeting, sitting next to one another, thick as thieves as they discussed things that were decidedly  _ not _ work related. In fact, it was only because of his eavesdropping that Ben learned they two of them had plans to go out to lunch the following day at his favorite sandwich shop.

It was a shame, really, that he’d never be able to set foot in there again. He absolutely  _ refused _ to be caught dead in any restaurant where Poe had taken Rey in his attempts to woo her.

When the family law division was called upon to provide an update on their caseload, Ben watched in unamused horror as the two of them talked over each other accidentally before a rather nauseating display of “no you go’s” had him so frustrated he finally slammed his hand down on the conference table.

“Niima, stop apologizing and provide your damn summation already.”

The stare she sent him would have turned a lesser man to ice, but she nodded briefly, ever the professional, and provided an update on the active cases, including the pro-bono case that she had found so upsetting the previous week. Ben tried to listen to her update about the foster situation and how the officer on duty had badly mishandled the evidence needed to secure a permanent removal for the child, but all he could think about was how she’d cried and come to him for comfort sex. She’d stopped talking for a full minute before he acknowledged it and moved on to the next division.

He glanced at her a few times, noticing the way her head remained down and she continued to make notes. Poe elbowed her playfully and she shook her head, causing Dameron to lift his head and stare straight at him. Shaking himself, Ben moved his attention back to the person speaking and endeavored not to look at Rey again for the rest of the staff meeting.

The universe was clearly out to get him, however, because about twenty minutes after the staff meeting ended, Dameron stopped by.

Ben looked up from what he was doing at the knock on his office door, reminding himself that they technically didn’t have an open door policy in the firm and he needed to be better about keeping his  _ closed _ if Poe was going to continue to waltz into his office without preamble. 

Ben leaned back in his chair. “Lost, Dameron?”

“Yeah.” Poe’s swagger increased as he got closer to Ben’s desk. “You like sitting in here, your little castle? Lording over your kingdom and yelling at your subjects?”

Ben raised his eyebrows.

“Considering you’re pretty much a serf without any sheep at the moment, you should probably watch your fucking tone.”

Poe laughed at that. “Leia won’t let you fire me.”

Ben’s temper snapped at the mention of his mother and he stood, leaning over his desk until he was nearly nose to nose with Poe.

“You want to play this game, Dameron?” He towered over the shorter man and glared down at him while he tried to rein in his temper. “ _ Leia  _ isn’t here to save your sorry ass so unless you want to be  _ actually  _ kicked to the curb, you can get the  _ fuck _ out of my office.”

Poe must have picked up on Ben’s volatile mood, because he backed off slightly before straightening. “Doesn’t this firm have an HR department? You can’t actually get away with this shit on a regular basis, can you?”

“Poe, as far as you’re concerned, I’m the  _ god  _ of HR.”

“Then how come you didn’t know your mother hired me?”

“Who says I didn’t?” Ben bluffed, watching Poe as he processed the lie. He must have decided to believe him, however, because his posture adjusted, and his angry expression smoothed out.

“Ease up on Rey. She’s had a rough week.”

“That’s no excuse.” The venom behind those words surprised Ben, and he considered briefly that the sex Rey had managed to extort from him the previous week had bothered him more than he was willing to admit. It wasn’t like he was unfamiliar with or even opposed to casual sex, but there had been something about what had happened Friday that felt entirely too transactional. He hated that Rey had simply come to him to scratch an itch so she could take her mind off her problems. Problems which she was obviously discussing with other people.

“Get out of my office, Poe.”

“Seriously, Solo. Lay off her.” Poe turned and strolled out while Ben watched him go, before dropping into the leather desk chair and returning to his work.

By five, Ben was in full self-loathing mode. Having spent the better portion of the afternoon thinking about Rey and how he’d yelled at her in front of the entire staff, he realized that Dameron was right. He had been a jerk, and even though that was kind of his thing, and they’d certainly fought before, he didn’t feel right about how he’d reacted to her that morning. It was an instance where he was clearly in the  _ wrong, _ whereas in the majority of their verbal sparring, he’d always been operating from the assumption that he was indisputably  _ right _ . It was a pretty uncomfortable place to be and as he packed up for the day, he decided that in order to be in the right with her again, he’d have to apologize.

But only for today. The other cloud hanging over his head regarding her was entirely her fault.

He made his way through the cubicle farm in the middle of the office before he approached the door to her small space. Rapping his knuckles on the doorframe, she looked up at him, her gaze narrowing slightly.

“Did you need something?” Her tone was literally the opposite of inviting. “It’s nearly five.”

“I wanted –“

“Rey! You ready to go?” Poe joined them, his overly jovial greeting combined with his untimely interruption resulting in the abrupt return of Ben’s earlier annoyance with the man. It took a moment for Poe’s words to sink in, their meaning reinforced by the fact that Rey had stood and was beginning to gather her stuff.

“Almost.” She slung her bag over her shoulder and met Ben’s gaze, before turning back to Poe. “Can you give me a minute?”

Ben watched Dameron sweep his eyes over him, appearing to assess the situation, obviously struggling with Rey’s request. The man was so easy to read it was laughable.

“Yeah, sure. I’ll meet you in the lobby.”

Ben watched him go for a moment, trying to get a handle on his anger, before turning back to Rey. His throat closed up and he couldn’t bring himself to verbalize what was going on in his head. Images of her underneath him were jumbled up with flashes of her and Dameron together and he felt his fist clench involuntarily. He covered it up as best he could by running his hand through his hair, but it didn’t alleviate the icy cold panic that was filling his chest.

“Solo?”

They’d been sleeping together for nearly four months and it hadn’t occurred to Ben until just this moment that it might  _ stop happening _ . That there might be a time when Rey stopped letting him touch her, fuck her up against a wall, trace his hands down her hips, press his fingers into her flesh and leave his mark. The realization that he might miss any of that never occurred to him because he never thought it would be an issue.

“Fuck.” It was muttered under his breath and he wasn’t even sure Rey heard it, but he’d suddenly realized that everything he knew about them, and what this was, and should be, and how he’d expected it to go, was in jeopardy.

“Ben.”

He looked up at her and something in him broke at the impatience and frustration on her face.

“Have a good night, Rey.” Without looking back, he left. He passed Poe in the lobby, ignoring the glare on the man’s face, and headed towards the stairwell, shoving the door open with so much force it slammed into the wall before springing back to close nearly silently. He jogged down the stairs, focusing on his feet, as his brain spun with the realization that Rey actually meant a great deal to him. Unfortunately, this revelation was accompanied by the absolute certainty that Poe would take it, take  _ her _ , the way he’d managed to sidle into position Ben’s entire life, sweeping up the attention, affection, adulation that Ben had always coveted.

And now? What he coveted, with a newly realized level of desperation he hadn’t thought himself capable of, was Rey.


	4. Chapter 4: Dismissal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy Thursday!!!
> 
> Remember the expression the darkness before the dawn? Yeah, it applies here.

Friday morning, he overheard Poe and Rey discussing their outing the night before and couldn’t resist slowing his steps as he passed the break room to eavesdrop. Apparently, they had met up with some of Rey’s friends from law school and had gone to a trivia night, if he was interpreting Poe’s comment about Finn’s extensive Star Wars knowledge correctly. Rey had mentioned her friend Finn to him once or twice, and his girlfriend Rose had come up as well. The relief Ben felt, knowing it hadn’t been just the two of them was intense enough to nearly force him to his knees. Unfortunately, it was quickly overshadowed by the simmering rage and sharp pain that punched through his gut at the realization that it was very much a  _ double date _ .

“Niima.” He barked out her name as he stepped into the break room and watched their heads pop up in unison. “Come to my office, we need to discuss your pro-bono case.”

Poe opened his mouth to say something but was forestalled by Rey standing and tossing her yogurt cup into the trash bin. She moved towards him and he spun on his heels, exiting the break room without acknowledging Poe at all and working under the assumption that Rey was following him. When he reached his office, he opened the door and turned, finding her directly behind him just as he’d suspected. She pushed past him and he took a strange satisfaction in the way she brushed her shoulder against his chest.

“Did you really want to discuss my case?”

“No. I don’t give a shit about pro-bono cases.”

She glared at him and he walked towards her, slowly invading her space as she held her ground and stared up at him.

“You’re a monster.”

“I know.” He stopped about a foot away from her. His anger from earlier was gone, the fact that he had her alone in his office, having stolen her from Dameron’s presence with nothing more than a barked command, calming him to the point of near amusement. He was eerily relaxed as he asked his question. “What’s going on with you and Poe?”

“It’s personal.” She threw his words from the previous week back in his face and he couldn’t help but admire the way she refused to back down even while her words cut him to the quick.

“Are you trying to make me jealous?” He stepped towards her again and still, she held her ground.

“He’s a lovely man. Not  _ all _ of us have giant sticks up our arse, Solo.”

“Hmm.” With another shuffle of his feet he was standing close enough to her that one deep inhale would have his chest brushing hers. “He’s a prick. An arrogant shit.”

“You’re one to talk.”

“Are you fucking him?”

Rey slapped him. It didn’t particularly hurt, but it caught him by surprise, thought not as much as the tears that were forming in her eyes when he turned back to her.

“God, you’re  _ impossible. _ ” She shoved past him and Ben recovered slower than he would have liked, stunned by her tears. By the time he could force himself to move she was halfway out the door.

“Rey.” She ignored him and kept walking away, so he did the only thing he could do. He followed her.

“Niima, goddamnit get back here.”

“I’m not your bloody lapdog.” She volleyed her retort back over her shoulder, unafraid of who might have heard it.

“This is insubordination.” He stomped after her, refusing to acknowledge the curious glances being thrown their way, nearly running into her when she stopped abruptly and spun to face him.

“Oh, that’s  _ rich _ .”

“We were in the middle of a conversation.” They were drawing a crowd, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

“About my sex life!” Several gasps were heard around the cubicle farm and Ben glared down at her, acutely aware of the fact that he was probably breaking at least seven separate HR policies as well as some actual sexual harassment regulations, but he realized he didn’t give a shit. She could fucking sue him.

“It was relevant.” The staff was beginning to gather around the two of them, enjoying the show and whispering about them, but Ben was entirely focused on Rey, watching her face for any clues as to what was going through her head. He knew he was pushing her, but damn-it she needed to be pushed. She couldn’t just continue to use him for sex and then allow Poe Dameron to put the moves on her while he had to sit back and watch the two of them flirt in ways she’d never done with him. “It’s fucking relevant and you know it. Say it.”

“No.” She shook her head. “No, you don’t get to do this. God, you’re a fucking asshole!” Turning, she stormed off, slamming her office door behind her, leaving Ben to deal with the gawking stares of nearly the entire firm. Her unwillingness to engage surprised him almost as much as the slap had earlier. He’d thought they understood each other, but the last few weeks had thrown him completely off and it was clearly impacting his behavior. A month ago, he’d never have chased her halfway across the office to ask whether or not she was sleeping with someone else; whether that was because he was confident she wasn’t or because he wouldn’t have cared, was less clear. Regardless, he was attracting more attention than he’d like.

“Get back to work!” His gruff shout had the intended effect, and he watched the staff scurry back to their work stations before letting his eyes linger on Rey’s office door for a moment, wondering if he’d done irreparable damage to whatever they had between them. Standing like an idiot in the middle of a cubicle farm on a Friday, Ben ran his hand through his hair and looked around, all of the eyes that had been on him previously turned away, focused on their work. He glanced down at his watch. It was nearly two in the afternoon and he needed to go beat the shit out of something.

He’d been at the gym for approximately ten minutes before his phone began to blow up.

Hux: _Are you fucking serious? You’re nailing one of the Senior Staff Attorneys?_

Mother: _Call me._

Hux: _Solo, get your ass back here and file a report with HR or something, you can’t chase a woman across the office yelling at her about sex and not at least send an email! There are protocols for this._

4668793434: _U fucking prick_

Ben ignored them all, figuring the last one was from Poe, before finally turning off his phone entirely and tossing it into the gym bag on the floor. He spent over an hour at the gym, working off his frustration on the heavy bag and focusing on the complex patterns with the jump rope in an effort to exorcise the angry little demons from his chest. The ones that wanted to rip Poe in half and carry Rey off to a cave where he’d tie her up and make her beg for him until he was sure she was his again. There had always been something inside him that had reached and grabbed and  _ wanted _ in a way that made him feel like he was asking too much, demanding too much. It was the thing that shriveled and whined when his mother had focused her attention on Poe, the thing that had raged when his father had left for months at a time until he’d finally learned to control it, to harness the intensity of those feelings into work.

When Ben had graduated from law school he’d landed an internship with a litigation firm that had taught him every manipulative, dirty, scandalous thing about the law. Backroom dealing and heartless lawyers who were willing to squeeze the last penny from whomever hired them. When he’d met his mother as an opponent in the courtroom for the first time, he’d lost. The senior partner at the litigation firm had ripped into him, making it clear that the courtroom was no place for sentiment, going on and on about Ben's legacy and how he shouldn’t be held back by something as ridiculous as maternal love.

It was all bullshit, and Ben knew that now, but at the time it had fucking devastated him. Knowing that both his mother  _ and _ his new mentor were disappointed in him for completely different reasons. Knowing that there was no way he could make both of them proud, being forced to choose. And for three years he had chosen ambition.

Then his father had died, and the firm his mother and uncle had built began to suffer. His mother’s own ambition’s pulling her further and further away from the day to day work of the law and more into the making of the law, her political ambitions removing her more and more from the daily activities at the firm. Ben’s uncle hadn’t practiced in years, and without a leader, the place began to crumble. The vibe at the litigation firm was getting more and more ominous and Ben had begun to really hate the person he was at work. He’d become a lawyer because the idea of law and order appealed to him. The need to have rule was no doubt something that came out of the chaos of his childhood – the long nights without either parent, the unpredictable nature of his father’s comings and goings, the never ending stream of other people moving through his house; people like Poe and his parents; constantly demanding time and attention from his family, leaving him isolated and resentful.

Ben had taken to the law like a duck to water, and for a time he’d thought he’d been able to pull some of the attention he’d desperately needed, but in the end he’d picked the wrong specialty, joined the wrong firm, done the wrong thing. He’d spent nearly five years completely isolated from his family. No contact, outside of the occasional confrontation in the courtroom. He’d managed to win against his uncle and mother both, the look in their eyes as he twisted their words and treated them like strangers barely denting the cold, heartless shell he’d build around himself in order to survive the cutthroat world of Snoke’s litigation firm.

But when his father had died, Ben had returned to his childhood home, forced to awkwardly grieve with all of the people who’d left him and let him leave. The large house was full of mourners, his mother’s eyes following him as he moved around the edges, anxiety twisting at his chest until he could no longer handle it and fled to his father’s garage. He’d sat, looking at the space where the man he’d loved had spent so much of his time. Ben had thought, when he was very young, that he’d be just like his dad, but as he got older, they understood each other less and less. Han had always been a rule breaker and Ben just wasn’t. Han would get frustrated, and Ben would wonder why he was constantly disappointing the man he loved so much, the angry words between them getting harsher until his dad just started leaving. Ben knew he’d given up, had stopped trying to make things work between them, and at thirteen it felt like he’d had his heart ripped in two when Ben had overheard Han telling his wife that it wasn’t worth it trying to relate to his son. He’d cried himself to sleep that night, the realization that his dad had stopped trying both heartbreaking and infuriating. He’d never seen his father the same way after that.

While the wake had been happening in the main part of the house, Ben had wandered through the garage, touching his father’s things and running his hand over the cars that he’d collected. They’d all been pieces of junk, but his father had babied them and toyed with them whenever he’d had spare time. As he poked through the old car magazines strewn across his father's work bench, he’d come across a manila envelope hidden between the pages of one of the older issues. Ben had slid it out, his curiosity getting the better of him, before opening it to reveal what was inside. Knowing his father, he’d expected it to be something incriminating – fake car titles, an IOU, something – but what he’d found instead had been even more heart wrenching.

It was a letter.

To him.

He’d read it, standing there alone, Italian leather shoes in an oil stain, his four thousand dollar suit covered in dust and grime, and cried.

He’d cried for his dad, for what they’d lost, for the fucking tragedy of the last decade, because the letter that was in that envelope was proof his father had always been there. Ready to welcome him home.

It had been a turning point.

It hadn’t been easy. He’d worked for the litigation firm for another year before finally throwing in the towel and reaching out to his mother. She’d offered him a position as a partner in her firm and it had been the first time he could recall feeling like she was actually proud of him. She never said it, but there had been a look and he’d just  _ known _ .

It had been surprisingly uncomfortable.

Extricating himself from Snoke’s firm had taken more maneuvering than he’d expected and by the end he’d somehow managed to have Hux attached to his hip. The snarky, officious contract specialist had always been a thorn in Ben’s side but he’d clearly seen the writing on the wall and being a horrible sycophant by nature, he’d latched on to Ben as a way to follow what he perceived as the power, agreeing to come with him to rebuild the Skywalker firm. Ben had been suspicious, still was if he were being honest, but had agreed, deciding it was better to have someone like Hux nearby so as to allow for damage control.

At the very least he’d provided a modicum of comic relief.

However, his histrionics were more than Ben was capable of handling at the moment, so when he turned his phone back on to see that Hux had texted him  _ twenty-three more times _ he rolled his eyes. He scrolled through his texts until he found the one he hadn’t been sure would come.

Rey:  _ We need to talk. _

Dread settled in his stomach at the four simple words. He chewed on his lips while his thumb hovered over the screen. He chalked the shakiness of his hands up to the workout instead of nerves before he typed out a quick reply.

Ben:  _ Agreed. Dinner? _

He watched the text bubble populate then disappear, then populate again.

Rey:  _ No. I have a date. _

His heart dropped and he typed out his response before he could think better of it.

Ben:  _ Then I guess we don’t need to talk. _

He watched the text bubble pop up a few more times before he decided he didn’t want to read whatever it was she was trying to put into words and turned his phone off completely.

* * *

Ben left his phone off all weekend.

For the first few hours, he was motivated by spite. Not wanting to read and feel obligated to respond to whatever Rey had tried to say before he turned it off, he’d decided that it would be best if he wasn’t in a position to provide her an answer. After a couple of hours though, he had said fuck it and just decided to stay offline. Hux and his mother could both wait, regardless of what alleged crimes he’d be accused of when he returned, and he needed to clear his head.

To that end, Ben had taken the Audi and driven up to the lake house his parents kept about three hours north of the city. His mother never came here anymore, but he remembered his father bringing him up to the isolated spot on more than one occasion. He tried not to think too hard about why he suddenly felt the need to be there now when he hadn’t visited the place since he was sixteen. It was past ten at night by the time he reached it, the driveway leading up to the large log house completely bereft of lighting. When he pulled into the large gravel parking area and stepped out of the car, the only light was the moon and it’s reflection on the lake. He grabbed the small bag of groceries he’d picked up and walked up the familiar stairs of the front porch, sliding his hand over the banister as the memories of his last visit to the place began to surface.

When he reached the door, he stretched up to the top of the small lintel above and grabbed the old set of keys that were, somewhat surprisingly, still kept in the same place. He unlocked the house and stepped inside, switching the light on and taking a look around.

The furnishings were different which surprised him and he wondered if perhaps his mother had visited more recently than he thought. The pictures, however, appeared unchanged. An entire wall of the room was full of images from the illustrious, and sometimes infamous, members of the Solo-Organa-Skywalker line. Ben set the groceries down on the coffee table and moved closer to the wall of history. There were pictures of his parents, his uncle, his mother’s adopted parents, him as a young child, even his maternal grandfather, the man who had disappeared when his mother was born only to be reunited with his children shortly before his death.

As Ben perused the overwhelming display of history on the wall before him, he was suddenly struck by a wave of regret as he realized Rey would never see any of this. It wasn’t as though he’d ever planned to bring her here, but looking at it now, seeing it on display before him, made him wish more than anything that he could share it with her. And with that realization came the knowledge of something even more damning.

He was in love with Rey Niima.

And it was too fucking late to do anything about it.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and rubbed his thumb across it, debating whether or not to turn it on and reach out to her. But she was probably still on her date. And even though she hadn’t said  _ who _ she was dating, he knew.

* * *

After a weekend pining in a log cabin for the woman he’d recently decided was the love of his life, Ben entered the offices Monday morning with a less than optimistic outlook. He’d not turned his phone back on, having sketchy service up at the lake anyway, and knew he was avoiding the inevitable by keeping it that way, but he was still surprised to find his mother in his office, a familiar mask of disappointment on her face.

His steps slowed as he approached her, sitting regally in one of his guest chairs, legs crossed and posture uncomfortably upright. Leaning down to kiss her cheek, he got a nose full of her familiar perfume and wished she’d come to see him under different circumstances before shoving the thought aside.

“Mother. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

Her eyes followed him as he moved around the desk and sat across from her.

“I’ve been attempting to reach you all weekend Benjamin.”

“I was away.”

“Ben,” she sighed, “Poe called.” He felt his eye tick but didn’t say anything. “Please tell me you didn’t chase that sweet Niima girl down the hall after interrogating her about her sex life.”

“Is that what Poe told you?” She gave a short little nod and his eye twitched again. “Then it must be what happened.”

“Don’t be like that.”

“I have work to do, mother. You can see yourself out.” He turned to his computer and entered his password, willing her to leave.

“This is serious. Poe is considering suing you.”

“And I’m sure you’ll do an excellent job presenting his case, but I can defend myself, thank you.”

“You’re as stubborn as your father.” She picked up her purse and stood. “We’re having a meeting at nine to deal with this situation. You, me, Poe, and Ms. Niima. Don’t be late.”

Ben refused to look at her as she walked out, instead reaching into the messenger bag he used for work and pulling out his phone. He turned it on and was unsurprised to hear a flurry of notifications go off. After what felt like a full minute of pinging, he pulled up his text conversations and scrolled through them until he found Rey’s name.

Rey: _ Please don’t be like that. _

Rey: _ Ben? _

Rey: _ He’s nice to me…. _

His stomach lurched as he stared down at the phone and tried to digest what she’d said. 

Ben knew he wasn’t a nice guy. He knew he was  _ capable  _ of being understanding and supportive, but he just found that most people didn’t warrant that level of attention from him. Years of being disappointed and neglected by his parents followed by a fairly toxic few years under the tutelage of his mentor had trained him to isolate, making it nearly impossible for him to express his feelings of compassion towards others in anything less than a condescending and brutally honest manner. He wasn’t afraid to call people on their shit, and did so with alarming regularity, but he’d found most people couldn’t handle having their own little delusions shattered, so most of the time it resulted in people thinking he was a dick.

The thing was, he’d always  _ known _ Rey thought he was a dick. It just never occurred to him that it bothered her or that she wanted something different from him. In fact, she’d behaved just as detached and antagonistic as he had throughout the entirety of their…whatever it was. He felt himself growing increasingly angry as he considered the fact that she had never told him she wanted more. Whether she assumed it was understood or because she was just as inept as he was irrelevant. She’d made a unilateral decision to end the thing between them and move on just as he was starting to realize how important she was to him.

And then, like everything else that he’d been desperate to call his own, the combined forces of his mother and Dameron somehow managed to take it away.

And now he was being sued.

He threw his phone down with a grunt. 

“My life is absurd.”

The investigatory meeting was being held in the large executive conference room, and Ben made his way there quietly shortly before nine. It was obvious from the conversation currently happening in the room that he was the last to arrive, and he took a moment to eavesdrop.

“God, Leia, do you remember the case with the slum lord?”

“Yes, Poe.”

“It was amazing, Rey. Leia here ended up facing off against her s-“

“Poe.” His mother’s voice was sharp, and Ben felt a familiar shame wash over him at her abrupt refusal to discuss him. The case Poe was discussing was the case he’d lost against her that had resulted in Snoke raging at him for nearly three hours afterwards. Ben had no idea Dameron had been involved in the case until just this moment and frankly he had to resist the urge to vomit. Of  _ course _ Poe had been working with his mother while he was being twisted into a grade A asshole by a man who was only interested in using him to exact revenge for a decades old argument.

“Anyway, Leia here was amazing. I was just an intern, but you were inspiring.”

Ben could almost hear his mother roll her eyes and decided he’d had enough of Poe extolling her virtues. As was expected, when he entered the room all discussion ceased and three sets of eyes turned to him with varying degrees of suspicion. He focused his attention on Rey, her expression the least concerned of the three, and it occurred to him in that moment, that perhaps she wasn’t the primary motivator for this cozy little intervention. Shutting the door behind him, he sat at the table closest to the exit, unbuttoning his suit jacket and stretching his feet out in front of him in an effort to appear relaxed.

“Let’s get this over with.”

Leia sighed, and gestured to Poe.

“Very well. Poe indicated that you chased Ms. Niima – may I call you Rey?”

“Sure.” Rey glanced at Ben and he had to force himself not to wink at her. They weren’t in this together, even if he felt like they were.

“Thank you, Rey. Ben, Poe indicated that you chased Rey out of your office and interrogated her about her personal life in view of the staff. Is this an accurate statement?”

“No.”

Leia frowned. “Can you elaborate?”

“I asked Rey if she was fucking Poe. She slapped me, but never answered.” Rey coughed, having choked on air, and Ben watched his mother’s eyes grow large with his confession.

“Benjamin – “

“I figured since I fucked her against my door about a week before it was a valid question. And she came over to use me to get off the Friday before the alleged sexual harassment occurred, making it a matter of personal interest.” Poe began to splutter, and Rey colored but didn’t open her mouth. “In fact,  _ mother _ , Rey and I have been fornicating for about four months – “

“Five.” Rey said it quietly and Ben couldn’t tell if she was trying to help him or not, but conceded she was correct regardless.

“Fine, five, before you hired your fucking protégé on to the firm without telling me. Because apparently you’re still attempting to support his career at the expense of your son, even though it clearly states in section four, paragraph eight of the recruitment policy for the firm that all hires have to be cleared by the partners before they can be authorized,  _ mom _ .”

Leia sighed, but Poe was clearly riled up.

“Now wait one goddamned minute – “, Poe started, but Ben cut him off.

“Shut the fuck up, I’m not done.” He turned his gaze to Rey. “Do you really want to sue me for sexual harassment?”

She met his gaze and for a brief moment he felt the weird connection that he’d always had with her before her eyes shuttered and she looked at Leia.

“I was sleeping with Ben, yes, but it was -,” he held his breath while she mulled over her next words. “Well, it never impacted work and it’s over now. I don’t feel as though there was any quid pro quo, nor do I believe a sexual harassment complaint is necessary.”

Ben was fairly certain he  _ felt _ his heart break at the way Rey just dismissed everything they were with a shrug, and he barely heard the words of his mother, watching the scene play out before him while his world imploded leaving only the sound of his heartbeat in his ears. When the women stood, he rose with them, ready to flee. As Rey approached where he hovered near the door, he swallowed and looked down at her as she actively avoided his eyes, a hand reaching out to her on impulse in an effort to keep her from leaving. He awkwardly covered it up by raising it to run through his hair, huffing out a breath as his mother followed her.

When Poe approached, a frown on his face, Ben tried to focus all the rage and pain currently solidifying in his chest on him.

“You have some nerve, Solo. Rey is kind, and good and – “

Ben punched him straight in the jaw, taking an absurd amount of pleasure in cutting the other man off mid-sentence and watching him fall backwards onto the floor, out cold.

“Shut the fuck  _ up _ , Dameron.” He stepped over the other man’s prone form, stepping out into the hallway while he straightened his tie and coat, only to be confronted with the horrified expressions of the two women in his life that he’d probably die for, even if both of them liked the man on the ground better.

He worked his jaw for a moment. “I should probably take the rest of the day off.”

“Finally, some wisdom.” His mother muttered before stepping around him to kneel down to check on Poe.

Rey continued to look at him, as though she was trying to sort out a puzzle. The thoughts running through his brain were jumbled, but there was one thing that kept returning and he finally threw caution to the wind.

“I’m sorry, Rey. You deserve better.” Her eyes widened at his apology as he pushed past her, wiping his hand over his mouth while he walked away.


	5. Chapter 5: Resolution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The resolution.
> 
> I hope you enjoy Rey's POV! Thank you all for reading xoxo

Rey Niima had done a lot of questionable things in her life, but sleeping with Ben Solo was, without a doubt, the worst decision she’d ever made. And it wasn’t because the sex was bad (it wasn't), or because he had a small prick (the opposite). It wasn’t because he held it over her head at work (not once), or because it made her feel dirty (it didn’t).

No, the reason why sleeping with Ben Solo was the worst decision she’d ever made was because after about three weeks, she was desperately, hopelessly, stupidly in love with him. Which was horribly unfortunate, because while he was polite when they were alone, and attentive in bed, and mostly not a complete asshole, he made it very clear that their relationship was just about sex and that under no circumstances would it ever be anything else.

Which had been fine.

Mostly.

Rey had abandonment issues. She knew this, and knew she also got attached to people entirely too quickly as a result. So, for the first few weeks she had chalked up her feelings towards the towering, scowling,  _ menace _ , as simply residual attachment issues from her horrible childhood. But when they didn’t go away, and she caught him smiling at her with his barely there, near smirk, his almost invisible smile, she realized she was horribly, hopelessly, stupidly in love with him.

And because she was in love with him, she was willing to accept what she got. The random sex, the bickering, the occasional dinner at his place, but she always hesitated to push him for more. Afraid of what might happen if she was too needy, worrying that he would start thinking of her as an annoyance and end it once and for all. When she’d learned that the officer in charge of her pro-bono case had badly handled a piece of evidence, she’d broken down and the neediness, the loneliness, that she constantly held at bay reared its ugly head and in an ill advised moment of weakness, she’d raced to his place and practically begged him to fuck her.

It was the first time she’d ever felt shame after being with him.

After that night she’d had enough. Poe had been hounding her for days, ever since he started really, flirting and dropping subtle hints about his interest. And Rey was lonely, and terrified of what was happening between her and Ben, so she encouraged Poe’s interest. It was nice having someone sunny and happy and  _ normal _ show some interest in her. It felt good, validating, like maybe she deserved the affection. And the best part was, she didn’t have any romantic feelings for Poe at all, so there was absolutely no risk. She could date him, probably even sleep with him, and he’d adore her, and never leave her, and it would never hurt.

Ben Solo  _ hurt _ . He’d managed to burrow into her soul, marking her heart like a brutal invasion of new territory, staking his claim so deeply she’d probably never be able to get out from underneath his flag. She bled for him, she longed for him, and when she was with him, touching him, breathing him in, she felt complete in the most terrifying way imaginable. It overwhelmed her and she’d run, expecting him to let her go, expecting to be free of the pain of loving him, expecting to be able to lick her wounds while Poe treated her like a queen.

She hadn’t expected his possessiveness, hadn’t expected him to  _ literally _ chase her. But most of all, she hadn’t expected him to apologize.

Too stunned to do anything other than gape, she’d let him walk away while his mother tended Poe. Blinking, she tried to process the fact that his  _ mother _ was tending to  _ Poe _ . Glancing over her shoulder, she wondered if maybe someone should go after Ben, and if it wasn’t to be his mother, perhaps it should be her. With a groan the man on the ground came awake, pulling Rey’s attention back to him and making her decision for her. She quickly joined Ben’s mother on the ground, pushing Poe’s hair out of his eyes while he tried to focus.

“What happened?” His eyes flickered between her and the older woman, Ben’s  _ mom _ , while Rey awkwardly patted his shoulder.

“My son punched you in the jaw.” Poe tried to sit up, Rey helping him with a hand on his back, and he groaned again while he worked his jaw.

“Your son hits like a fucking truck.”

“What did you  _ say _ to him?” 

Rey watched the two with rapt interest. It was almost like watching a mother and son, the way they interacted and were so familiar with one another. Once again, her eyes flickered to the hallway where Ben had left, and she felt a small frown form. Was this why Ben had hated Poe so much? She turned back to see Leia cupping Poe’s face, turning his jaw this way and that, and her frown deepened.

“I don’t need to say anything to piss him off, you know that.”

“Why?” Rey asked, forcing herself into the conversation. “Why does Ben hate you?”

Poe looked at her, then back at Leia for a guidance and the older woman sighed as she stood. “We should probably all sit down and have a little chat. Poe, get us some coffee while I get to know Rey.”

Rey scrambled upright, tugging her skirt down and followed the elegant woman down the hall to the executive suite. She glanced quickly at the door to Ben’s office, which had been left ajar, and wondered if he’d be back, wondered if his apology had been enough to set things right between them, if she was allowed to let him back in and forgive him.

The office Leia led her into was tastefully furnished and decorated with a few pieces of original art. There was a long couch and end table on one side, and Rey allowed herself to be led there by the other woman, taking a seat at one end of the sofa.

“So, Rey, tell me about yourself.”

She wasn’t sure what she had been expecting, but it certainly wasn’t that. A softly curious inquiry about  _ her. _ Nothing about the woman sitting across from her screamed soft.

“Well, I work in family law – “

Leia waved that aside. “Tell me about _ you.” _

“I’m an orphan.” It just came out, and Rey was momentarily horrified, but the gentle expression on Leia’s face encouraged her to continue. “I was raised in England. My parents died when I was quite young and I was taken in by the state.”

“And how did you get here?”

“School. I wanted to get as far away from Shropshire as I could.”

Leia hummed and Rey found herself overcome with curiosity.

“What happened to Ben?”

The other woman’s face morphed into an expression of surprise before relaxing again.

“Ben is…difficult.” Leia sighed and Rey felt herself leaning in. “He was such a sensitive child, and our family was always involved in something." Leia gave a little wave of dismissal. "I think sometimes he felt ignored.”

Rey frowned and had opened her mouth to ask another question when Poe interrupted their tete-a-tete, three cups of coffee in his hands. His jaw was already swelling, and Rey was torn between being impressed with Ben’s efficiency and the sense that she was, perhaps, obligated to comfort Poe. She settled on smiling up at him and thanking him for the coffee.

“I should sue him for assault.” He grumbled as he sat between them, forcing Rey to shift slightly in order to accommodate his form.

“Poe, let’s not.” Leia said it with a small smile and Rey was once again confused. Was it funny that Poe would charge Ben with a crime? There were times when Rey felt like her upbringing made reading social cues hard, but there was something that felt off to her about the easy banter between mother and not-quite-son.

“No, let’s.” He countered, sitting up straighter as he did so and ticking items off on his hand as he spoke. “He’s a selfish asshole. Remember that time when we were both applying for schools and he tackled me to the ground because of your letter of recommendation? Or when you recognized the work I’d done at the awards ceremony and he just bailed? Or, god, even earlier, when it was my birthday and mom had just passed and you invited us over and gave me a  _ huge _ party? He sulked for days because I got the bike he’d always wanted or some bullshit.”

Rey blinked into her coffee. Was Poe  _ blind?  _ Did he truly not know what it was like to watch someone else get everything you wanted? 

“He’s never liked you.” Leia’s voice was warm with affection and Rey squirmed as she grew increasingly uncomfortable. She raised her head and met Leia’s warm gaze.

“I’d like to drop it. All of it.” She put her coffee down and stood, ignoring Poe in favor of maintaining the connection with Ben’s mother. “Okay?”

If Leia was surprised, she hid it well.

“Sure, Rey, of course. Whatever you need.”

Rey moved her gaze to Poe, who was looking up at her with concern. “Don’t go after him for punching you, either.”

He glanced at Leia and she shrugged as she wrapped her hands around the coffee cup before he moved his eyes back to Rey. “Sure. Fine.”

“Thanks. I should get back to work, yeah? It was nice meeting you.”

“Same.” Leia’s smile was soft and Rey was suddenly struck by the realization that sometimes, having parents could be nearly as difficult as not having them. As she placed her coffee cup on the table and watched Ben’s mother sit and laugh with Poe, she suddenly  _ knew _ that even though he’d had a family and parents who loved him, he probably felt just as abandoned as she did. Her mother was absent, her abandonment physical, but Ben's? She was right here, perpetually out of reach.

* * *

Rey waited for Ben to return that afternoon, but he didn’t.

In fact, he didn’t return the following day. Or the day after that. Or the day after  _ that. _

She debated texting him, but she had wanted to speak with him in person, needing to see his face and watch his eyes when they talked so she could confirm what she suspected, which was that Ben Solo was a desperately lonely man who had let her in to his world as much as he thought he was capable of. 

Uncomfortable with the idea of simply going to his house without warning, she resisted, spending her weekend with Finn and his girlfriend, actively avoiding Poe’s calls, and trying not to take Ben's absence too seriously. When he didn’t arrive at work on Monday, however, she began to panic.

Leia was still coming into the office every day, so on Monday when Ben still wasn’t in the office by ten, Rey gathered her courage and knocked on Leia’s door.

“Rey, good morning. What can I do for you?”

With a soft smile, Rey stepped into the doorway, electing not to sit.

“Have you heard from Ben? He hasn’t been at work and I was just…worried.”

Leia’s face morphed into a sad smile. “He resigned.”

Rey froze, her heart jumping into her throat.

“What?”

Leia nodded. “I suggested a sabbatical, but by the end of our…conversation he decided to tender his resignation instead.”

Rey blinked, her brain going one hundred miles a minute.

“You let him quit?” The older woman opened her mouth to reply but Rey continued before she could say anything. “You let your  _ son _ quit the family firm?”

“Rey – “

“No.” She was in it now, focused, her anger and confusion about Ben's relationship with his mother and his extended absence coalescing onto a single target. “You let him walk away, let him go, alone, after he watched you choose Poe  _ again _ ?”

“Ms. Niima – “

Rey was at Leia’s desk at this point. “You’re his  _ mother. _ You hired his least favorite person, you supported me filing a sexual harassment case against him that I didn’t even  _ want _ , and you  _ laughed _ at the idea of Poe bringing him up on charges of assault!”

Leia blinked at her and Rey ignored the slow dawn of realization that seemed to come over the other woman’s face as she shook in rage.

“I always wanted a family, a mother, because I thought that would make up for everything that I missed, all the loneliness and feelings of never having been enough, but  _ you – _ “ her voice cracked, “Ben had you and he  _ still _ feels that way. Abandoned. Alone.  _ Insufficient. _ ” She was crying now, unable to stop herself from feeling a chasm of regret open up in her chest, knowing how much she’d hurt him when she, too, appeared to pick Poe. Because of his sunny personality, his easy going attitude, all the things that Ben was  _ not _ . 

Even though Poe was not what she'd wanted. 

“Did you ever tell him you were proud of him?” Leia gasped and licked her lips.

“I don’t – “

“I have to go.” Backing away she took a final look at Leia before she practically ran from the executive suite to her office where she grabbed her purse and her phone, before rushing to the elevators. In her haste she didn’t see Poe before she was practically on top of him, and he held out his hands to steady her as she came to an unsteady stop.

“Hey, what’s the rush? Are you okay?”

“No, I mean, yes, I’m fine, but I have to leave.” She looked up into his concerned face. “I don’t want to date you.”

He looked taken aback. “Wow, okay, is there a – “

“I’m sorry, I have to go.” Rey pushed past him, ignoring him calling her name, and decided she would just take the stairs instead. She ordered an uber as she rushed down the steps, and by the time she was out the door and onto the street, she only had a few minutes to wait before her ride showed up.

The driver was, thankfully, not one of those that liked to make small talk, and while Rey sat in the back seat she chewed on her fingernails, her anxiety near to overwhelming as she contemplated all the possible outcomes of her spontaneous decision. Would he be there? Would he talk to her? She tried not to think about what she’d do if the answer to either of those questions was “no”, so instead she thought about what she was going to say and how she was going to explain everything.

When they arrived at Ben’s apartment building, she thanked the driver quickly before jogging to the door. The doorman at the front desk recognized her, giving her a small smile, before buzzing her in. She swore the elevator took longer than it ever had before, and by the time the doors gave their little ‘bing’ she was practically pushing them open. When she reached Ben’s door, she bit her lip, hesitating only slightly before she knocked.

It only took a moment, but in the time between when her knuckles met the door and she heard the lock open on the other side, she nearly lost her nerve. The look on his face when he saw her made it all worth it, however.

“Rey?”

She threw herself into his arms with so much force that they nearly toppled, but he righted them as he wrapped an arm around her, using the other to close the door.

“Are you okay?”

Rey lifted her head and saw the concern on his face before she placed both hands on his chest and shoved.

“You are an absolute  _ idiot _ ! I can’t  _ believe _ you were just going to leave and never come back!” Her voice shook with the strength of her anger. “Do you have any idea how hard that was on me? My parents  _ abandoned  _ me and then you – “ she stopped herself and took a deep breath, realizing she probably needed to back up before she made a complete fool of herself. “Ben Solo, you’re a bloody bastard.”

He rubbed his chest where she’d shoved him and glared at her.

“Nice to see you too.”

Rey glared back at him before she tossed her purse on the table.

“You quit your job!”

“You slept with Poe.” His voice came out as a harsh whisper, the pain practically visible as she watched his chin quiver before he sucked his lips into his mouth. Suddenly everything settled into place for her and she  _ knew _ without a doubt why he had done all of the things he did over the last few weeks. 

“No, Ben, I didn’t.” Rey walked towards him again, placing her hands on his chest once more, but instead of shoving him she stroked her fingers over the soft fabric of his Henley. “I didn’t and I should have told you sooner but – “

He placed his hands over hers and pulled them away, stopping her. “Why are you here?”

Rey looked up at him. “Truth?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m in love with you.” He made a strange squeaking noise, but she kept talking. “I was scared, Ben. I was so,  _ so _ scared because I’ve never been in love, but I know what it’s like to be alone. And I thought, I thought it would be okay if I just took a little. I just wanted a little, but every time I touched you it was like I lost more of myself and then you wouldn’t let me in about Poe.” He frowned, but she kept going. “And I thought that meant you’d never let me in, and the scraps were killing me, I was starving for you, and it hurt, Ben. It hurt  _ so much _ .” She was crying now, but she didn’t care because his thumbs were stroking over the backs of her hands and he was pulling her to him. “And I couldn’t bring myself to believe that you wanted me because no one  _ ever _ wants me –“

“Shhh, Rey.” Ben finally wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against him. She sank into his warmth and cried, terrified she’d completely ruined everything. “God, Rey, I wanted you so much I thought it would kill me. I was  _ desperate _ for you.” He rubbed one of his big hands over her back while the other stroked over her hair. “When I saw you with Poe I wanted to murder him and drag you off and prove to you how much I love you.”

“You love me?” She pulled away and looked up at him.

“More than fucking anything.”

“I yelled at your mom.”

His eyes widened and he pulled his face back in surprise. “That’s…amazing.”

“Can we have sex?” A shadow crossed over his face and she back-peddled, knowing he was thinking of their last time together when she’d thanked him like he’d just provided her a service. “Not like that. That time wasn’t like that either, for me, but I know you think it was because I thanked you.”

“It felt – “

“Dirty.”

He bit his lip. “I was going to say transactional.”

Rey nodded. “Which made me feel dirty. I hated it.” He ran his hand through his hair and Rey raised up on her toes to kiss the underside of his jaw. “Which is unfortunate because I love it when you fuck me.”

He looked down at her. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

He grabbed her hips and tugged her to him. “You want me to fuck you, Rey?”

She shivered and ran her fingertip over his chest before she nodded. “I’ve never had make-up sex before.”

“Bullshit, all our sex was right after a fight.”

Rey laughed as he picked her up, his arms around her waist, and carried her to the bedroom. “Was it make up sex though? Or was that just weird litigious foreplay?”

He lowered her slowly, her entire front sliding down his chest before cupping her face with his hands. “I love it when you speak lawyer.”

He kissed her and Rey moaned into his mouth, opening up for him and his plush lips before he slanted his mouth over hers in a desperate move, pulling her tongue into his mouth as his hands moved to her hair, pushing away her clips and tugging it away from her scalp while she acted on her need, grabbing his pants and pulling him towards her so she could work on the fly of his blue jeans. Before long they were a panting, moaning mess of hands and loosened clothing and Rey slid out of her shoes as Ben tugged on her skirt, abruptly lowering herself a few inches and forcing their lips to separate.

“Bed, now.”

She nodded and he tugged her towards his king size mattress, her skirt sliding down her legs as she did so, the fly of his jeans now fully open, the edge of the fabric rubbing against her abdomen as the backs of her knees hit the bed. She stumbled, but he caught her, his mouth still devouring hers as he maneuvered her onto the mattress, lifting her and letting her get her knees under her before he used a free hand to push his pants down his hips. Rey felt him step out of them before she cupped his hardness through his underwear, pulling a growl from his mouth as she ran her hand over his firm warmth.

“Fuck.” His whispered word only encouraged her and she smiled against his lips as she tugged down the waistband of his boxers.

He released her mouth and pulled off his shirt, revealing his broad chest. Rey couldn’t resist, leaning over to lick one of his moles, willing to bask in the moment, but Ben clearly was getting impatient, because he shoved her backwards onto the mattress before crawling on top of her, settling between her thighs and pinning her wrists to the bed next to her head.

“I’m going to tie you to this fucking bed. Keep you pinned her for weeks.” Rey felt a shudder go through her at the thought and broke out in goosebumps when he nipped at her neck. “I’d rather fight with you and fuck afterwards than be with anyone else.”

“Me too.”

He pressed into her, his massive form covering her completely before he released her hands and moved down her body, nipping at her whenever he could, thumbing her nipples and squeezing her breasts until she was panting. His hot breath stopped at her navel and she felt his massive palms slide over her hips, tugging on her panties.

“These need to come  _ off _ .” The elastic tightened for a brief moment as he curled his hands into them and with a growl he pulled, ripping the thin lace into two.

“Ben!” She tried to scold him, but it came out too breathy to carry any weight.

He growled and sank his teeth into her thigh. “They were in my way.”

She opened her mouth to say something else, but all words were forgotten when his tongue pressed into her folds. He lapped at her, flicking her clit before pressing the tip inside her, teasing her flesh until she was near sobbing, pinning her to the bed when she tried to raise her hips to him, almost as though he was punishing her by forcing her to endure the pleasure of his mouth. When he had her at the edge, thighs quivering and breath coming in pants, he stopped, wiping his face on her thigh before swooping up and settling his heavy cock at her entrance. She opened her eyes, his whiskey ones so close she could see the flecks of gold in them. He held her gaze as he slowly pushed into her and Rey gasped with the intensity of it, pinned by the emotion she saw in his face. He pulled back briefly before thrusting to the hilt, the delicious sting and stretch of him forcing a groan from her mouth.

“Rey-” he started but she nodded, cutting him off.

“I know. Me too.”

She reached up to his lips, tracing them with a finger before he captured it in his mouth, sucking on it gently while he began to thrust. Rey lifted her head and touched her lips to his as she pulled her hand from his mouth and cupped his jaw. The kiss was so gentle compared to what had come before that she literally melted, tears running down her cheeks as he thrust into her gently, whispering things in her ear that she wasn’t even sure made sense. But the soft, low rumble of his voice, combined with his hands running up and down her flesh; it was all she could do not to fly to pieces. Ben lifted his head to kiss her and slowed, his hips barely touching hers as he raised up on his elbows.

“Are you crying?” She wrapped her arms around his neck and nodded. “Am I hurting you?”

Rey shook her head and smiled up at the concerned look on his face. “I missed you, I never thought I’d have this, and I just missed you.” His thumb rubbed her cheek and she wrapped her legs around him, locking her ankles behind his hips and pulling him towards her. “Keep going.”

“Okay.” Ben attacked her mouth and began to fuck into her harder. As she lifted her hips to meet him, her hands tangled in his hair and she sucked on his lips, tasting him and claiming him as her own, determined to mark him as deeply as he’d marked her. Their lovemaking became more desperate, needier, as if they both realized how important the other was, and Ben's soft words and gentle movements were replaced by growls and forceful thrusting while she scratched and bit and clung to him, forcing as much contact as was possible.

His hand dug into her hip as he held her in place, pushing her thigh up even higher and he continued to push her body to its limit, forcing her to take all of him with each ingress. Rey welcomed it, arching to meet him each time until they were both gasping, the tightness in her lower belly growing until finally he growled and pulled out, flipping her over abruptly before laying on her, sliding into her from behind without even lifting her hips, tucking his arms around her shoulders to create space for her to breathe before he began to pound into her again. His thighs were on either side of her, keeping her legs pressed down and his lips skirted over her neck and upper back while he laced his fingers with hers.

The new angle had her moaning into her pillow and she quickly went over the edge, growling his name as he latched on to the back of her neck with his lips, shuddering as he continued to fuck into her now pliant body.

“Say you’re mine, Rey. Say it.”

“Ben –“

He lowered his head to hers and growled in her ear. “Say it. Say you love me. Say you’re mine, Rey.” He slammed into her again pushing air out of her lungs with the intensity of his movements. “Please.”

“I love you.” He tilted his hips and pulled out until the tip of his cock was just at her entrance before sliding back in causing her to moan.

“What else?” He was teasing her now, and after her orgasm she was overly sensitized, but she still arched her back up to follow him as he withdrew.

“You say it first.”

He thrust in again, sliding a hand down to toy with her clit before pushing her hips back down to the mattress.

“I’m yours.” She writhed under his fingers as he started fucking her in earnest. “I’ve been yours. You hold my fucking heart in your hands.”

“Ben!” The pressure on her clit was too much and she started to shake as her second orgasm overtook her. She vaguely registered the sound of him coming, felt the jerking movements of his pleasure as he followed her over the edge before collapsing and rolling onto his side, pulling her with him, his heavy cock softening inside her.

She allowed herself to be adjusted as he maneuvered them, throwing a heavy leg over hers and trapping her next to him, as if he were afraid she’d leave. Rey snuggled up against his large form, content to let him trap her. She traced his fingers with hers, fascinated by the size of him, enamored with the way he held her and touched her and made her feel like she was finally  _ home. _

“I’m yours, Ben Solo. I’m yours.”

* * *

Ben woke up slightly disoriented, a strange weight across his chest and the sound of his cell phone ringing. He was quick to realize the weight was Rey, her ribcage rising and falling with the soft sound of her snores. The phone had stopped ringing, so he wrapped an arm around her and tugged her up his chest, fairly certain her little murmuring sounds were actually an incantation binding his soul to hers because there was no way he would ever be able to live without her at this rate.

His phone rang again, and he rolled out from under her as gently as possible, but he still managed to wake her up.

“Shmurmft.”

“I have no idea what you just said.” He tossed over his shoulder as he bent over and retrieved his cell phone from his pants.

“’Should answer’t.” She muttered, more audibly, but still barely intelligible.

Without looking at the phone he rolled his eyes and acquiesced, sliding his thumb across the screen in a practiced motion.

“Hello?”

“Hello Benjamin.” He froze, hunched over with his jeans in his hand, before pulling the phone away from his face. His mother’s name was emblazoned across the screen and he wondered briefly if he could hang up on her and come up with a believable excuse before he remembered that he wasn’t a coward and that he didn’t owe her a damned thing.

“Mother. You have sixty seconds.”

Rey made some rustling sounds and when he looked over his shoulder, she was staring at him, her hazel eyes round in her face. He held her gaze with the phone pressed to his ear, trying to ground himself in her eyes.

“I shouldn’t have let you quit.” Ben’s eye twitched but he didn’t say anything. “I shouldn’t have hired Poe without running it by you. I feel so  _ guilty _ about his mother – but that shouldn’t matter. You’re my son.” There was a pause and Ben let himself blink as Rey sat up and leaned towards him. “You’re my  _ son _ , Ben. I just took it for granted that you knew I loved you.” She paused, but Ben didn’t say a word. “And I’m proud of you. For leaving Snoke, for rebuilding Luke’s firm. I should have told you sooner.”

Rey reached out and touched his cheek. It was only then that he realized he’d started crying.

“Ben?” His mother’s voice sounded unsure and he leaned into Rey’s hand before answering.

“Yeah. I’m here, mom.”

“Thank god, I thought you’d hung up.” She chuckled and he blinked as Rey dropped her hand and scooted closer to him.

“Nope.” He sniffed and rubbed a finger across his nose as Rey leaned into him and wrapped her arms around his waist. “I – “ he paused and tried to choose his words carefully as he let Rey hug him. “We should probably talk but I’m working on another really important relationship at the moment.”

“Of course.” There was a smugness to her tone that kept him from being overly surprised by her next statement. “Say hi to Rey for me.”

Ben tossed the cell phone on the bed and wrapped his arms around Rey, his chin resting on her head.

“You okay?”

“You meddled.” Rey stiffened and Ben immediately felt like an asshole. “Thank you.” He felt her relax again rested his cheek on her head, content to just hold her.

“Your mother loves you, you know.”

“I know.” He swallowed. “It just always felt like she never loved me  _ enough _ .”

It was like something had cracked in him when he said that out loud, like Ray had pierced through his dark armor and shined a light on his heart. The words started to flow from him, and Rey listened, eventually crawling into his lap as they talked about their families and their fears. They made love again and after, when he was curled around her, fingers intertwined with hers, head tucked into her neck, she whispered his name.

“Ben?”

“Hmmm?”

“Can I stay?”

“I’d be pissed if you didn’t.” Her fingers were playing with his and he thought she was falling asleep before he heard her voice again, this time the whisper so low as to be almost silent.

“Forever?”

Ben inhaled the smell of her hair before releasing his breath in a single word.

“Forever.”

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Twitter [@mokelly1066](https://twitter.com/mokelly1066)
> 
> Updates every Thursday!


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